I just feel…

I don’t know what it is about today but I just feel so overplayed.

I feel worn, weary, and tired.

I don’t recall feeling this way that yesterday but today my songs are melancholy at best.

I can’t get anything off my chest when there isn’t anything to get off of it- my day is just dark.

The sun hurts my eyes and yes, I may bask in it, sure I may illuminate it some days but… just not today.

I feel as though the world had a meeting and discussed my inability to participate in day to day activities.

I feel like when I speak it’s almost too quite to hear.

I feel like no matter how many times I go to the gym, I am growing weaker.

And I am just so tired of thinking for everyone else’s well-being when mine is right in the bottom of the septic tank…

I stink, I look and feel ugly and no matter what I do I cannot shake this immobile feeling of dread and disgust.

Is it just me?

Am I the catalyst to all things morbid and ruffled with dismay?

All day and night I’ve just been thinking that all this just isn’t worth what I meant it to be.

That I’m only one girl and how could I cause this much catastrophe.

How in the world could it ever be said that I am someone’s favourite person- must be bumped on the head!all

I that I wish is for someone to hear me speak once and think that I’m normal… I just want to be normal, I just want to be who I was a year ago and smile.

These tears nor these words are going to change a thing for me, not today. Not when I feel this way…

But tomorrow could be better.

There’s opportunity in everyday and it’d be a waste to just go and throw it away.

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