When I seek my mind to find peace I picture a one story house with wood flooring next to the beach in Washington state.
A nice little kitchen on the right, coming out of the entry hallway.
On the left is the living room soaked in sunlight from the surrounding wall windows.
The living room doesn’t have much but a long couch, a coffee table, and a TV.
Two big plants on either side of the wall windows and some random knick knacks sprinkled throughout.
My kitchen looks about the same, slim but wooden and light with stainless steel pots and pans and a white American style fridge.
Two stools on the opposite side of the bar table separating the kitchen from the living room, a surf board hanging from the ceiling above the bar.
Down the hall we have a room and a bathroom on either end of the hallway.
The bathroom is quaint but beach stylish.
Longer than the kitchen but with one sink, a toilet, and a walk in shower. A hamper in the corner just out of reach of the open door.
A robe hangs on the back of the door on a hook.
Stone surrounds the shower and there is a small rectangular window right below the ceiling with a plant slinking over the edge of the sill.
I spend some time in there, but never too much or I’d become vein from the big mirror that stretches from one edge of the counter to the opposite edge of the toilet bowl.
The walls are half palm wallpaper and other half is a feathery seafoam green set in contrast by bamboo edging that lines the open walls.
That scheme leaks into the bedroom across the hall.
My oasis for rainy days;
My bedroom is shaped like a large box with a Bay window so it feels in part like a edgy castle.
The seafoam green tint to it echos the deep grey from the sky and mixes it with the transcendent blues from the ocean hue.
Draws the bright from my day to my mind. A book shelf lines my longest wall, two actually with the middle separation of a TV. 46″ and below is a DVD player, some candles and more knick knacks from my life on three shelves.
The book shelves are part books and the rest my vast collection of DVDs.
Looking onto this wall is the face of the room where my bed resides.
My queen size bed is cushiony and comfy, laying on it is five blankets and seven pillows; sleeping on it is to sleep on a cloud- call it nine.
On either side of it are white-stained night stands to match the book shelves. On them are lamps linked by the switch on the left of my bed. They can dim up or down.
All the pillow cases are different shades of which are on my duvet cover print.
I like the variation because I can rest my head on many different shades of my being on any given day, or perhaps all at once when I cannot decide which I really feel.
Facing my bed oblong faced is my walk in closet. Two top shelves in an L shape and lots of clothes hanging from them.
Shoes line the floor beneath. There is a small body mirror on the wall so that I may see my outfit.
On the blank wall is all the pictures of friends and family that I miss upon my move to such foreign places from my birth town.
I keep my reminders every where but since I get dressed twice a day, I like to remember them before going out and going to bed.
I have varying pets in my varying daydreams… An Aussie mix with a little bandana, a cat… Maybe two. Sometimes when I am feeling restless I dream of a bobcat, or some kind of animal that could be dangerous but just loves me entirely.
Here I dream that my family, made friends, or sometimes just imaginary acquaintances come to visit me…
But I never really dreamed of love and a place to stay because to me; it has never occurred to my mind that love could breed comfort.
Once, once when I was young I had believed the two went hand in hand but though the years of want and need being met at an end with devastation.
That has rid my belief in love and happiness being intertwined but now an even greater fantasy has drifted in.
Not into my head but into my reality!
Through even our worst fights, through all of the stress and colliding frustrations; there is a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on.
One united desire to come together in a complete serendipitous embrace that warms and whispers to you in the darkest of nights.
It is funny in an ironic way… My fantasies only went so far in caress to my emotional state but in reality sometimes your mind just collides in sorrow where you used to daydream to break out of the constant stabbings at your being but then… A touch of hand hits your side with gentle nudge to come back to reality where he awaits.
I haven’t lived a life where I could depend on my immediate family for emotional stability so I learned to make space and peace my home,
Now I have come to surface with the reality, my reality of being loved and true happiness accompanied by one man who can actually bare my weight.
Sometimes my mid infects me with thoughts of unworthiness and now I have a weapon to combat it with
I daydream of comfort and stumbled upon love in reality… Fancy that.
I do. 😉