Peril Escaped Me

When the song came on that I used to play on repeat it was like finding a stone I had once threw into the oceanic abyss.

Hearing it come to life in it’s first few strums was like glancing over, if for only a moment between riffling through my bag on the way to catch the morning bus and spotting the stone on top the soft sand.

Waiting for me…

I listened with reminiscent anticipation of what the song had to say after years in remission.

That song was a warning symbol to me back when I had first fallen in love with it.

It was warning me of what was to come.

What I had already anticipated.

The devastation I was to feel when the relationship I had thought I wanted more than anything was to come apart at the seams and leave me praying for fatality.

Back then I knew there was an end to a beginning but what I had not seen was the beginning that came after.

Devastation.

The lyrics

Or do I divide and fall apart?
‘Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark

The sleepless nights staring into the ceiling were common,

my breakaway into strict flight far away from Minnesota and to fulfil who I am to be.

There was a tug of war between crippling sadness and undeniable happiness was getting the best of me and the safest place to me was in my room…

But, my friends were not having that-

they pulled me out and I would go into drunken stupers and if not go daring lengths to escape my reality.

There was something inside of me back then who knew that my future was waiting for me and that I wasn’t to be stifled by heartbreak.

I quit my job, I moved in with friends, and then I held onto them for dear life…

Because I knew my path was to move far away from home.

Now, my story has brought me far away with the love I had wished for back then and a full heart I never thought that I would have again.

Telling my husband how and in what way that song hit me today was to give him a massive embrace that even physical touch couldn’t fully explain.

The escape of love’s peril I faced all those years ago had lead me right to his inbox.

Nothing can touch destiny and when you embrace whom you are to be and what you are to do,

life can never touch you and your victorious fire but you can be susceptible to your own cushiony depression.

Alexandra

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